Reply to How to re-kindle attraction to husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I want to desire my husband. It has been years since I felt that way toward him. I love him, but in a way that is more like a partnership or friendship but not sexual. This didn't bother me for a long time. I just thought of myself as a low drive person. Then, boom, I got a huge crush on someone and have a very strong desire for him. I forgot what it felt like. It is both great to feel so alive and terrible because it is the wrong person.

I would much rather desire my husband. I have zero intention of destroying my marriage or having an affair. However, the thought that I will never feel this way toward the man that I am committed to is hard. I wish that I could get rid of my feelings towards this other (single) person. It is making me crazy. I don't want to feel this way any more. It has been about 2-3 months. Jesus, no one ever told me that life could be like this. [/quote]

OP, do you work with this other person? Is there anyway to eliminate your daily contact?

I think you need to look at this like a drug.

A lot of people who get started with hard drugs have this initial honey moon period with the drug where they feel like "How did I ever live before I had this in my life? I feel so alive and happy for the first time."

That's kind of where you are now, and it is understandably extremely intense and powerful.

I am so happy you are being intellectually high-minded about this (instead of giving into your primal impulses like an animal and rationalizing it). If you are serious about being the person you want to be (loyal and someone who honors your commitments), then you need to get away from this guy.

It might take weeks or even a couple of months before the strong cravings subside mostly to the background.

I'm sorry. I know how you feel. [/quote]

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