Reply to Overseas ILs? Anyone's 2-3-4-y-o meet grandparents for the *first* time?

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Reply to "Overseas ILs? Anyone's 2-3-4-y-o meet grandparents for the *first* time?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think your update really clarifies things that we initially didn't get from the first post and I've been there with you. I think you need to prepare yourself for insults and choose now, before you even arrive, to not engage in their mind games. Prepare some quick exit lines you can use to excuse yourself when you see it start to go downhill. Prepare some to-dos you want to do in your ILs town and try to have at least one outing with the kids each day - ILs can be welcome to join in or not, but being out & about is a better recipe for success than staying in their home and just having each other to talk to and about.

Also, try to have a calm, goal oriented conversation with your husband ahead of time so that you're on the same page regarding what lines you collectively as a family can not have crossed and what the action plan will be if/when they do. If he simply can not be reasonable about his family, which wouldn't be surprising if he grew up in an emotionally abusive household, then accept that for what it is and let him know that you do have "do not cross" lines for yourself and the children and that you will check into a hotel if A, B, or C happens. Limit yourself to only having truly awful and traumatic things on that list - not offensive or off-putting things. [/quote]

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