Reply to Overseas ILs? Anyone's 2-3-4-y-o meet grandparents for the *first* time?

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Reply to "Overseas ILs? Anyone's 2-3-4-y-o meet grandparents for the *first* time?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Thank you all!

Unfortunately, our communication all has to be indirect (verbally) for both familial and cultural reasons, but I do think we have some room to get our "points" (for example, not forcing hugging) across.

Yes, I am an overthinker, but I didn't want to add to my already overlong post by giving "objective evidence" that it will be a minefield. But in short, when we visited them the last time (at their house, and there is no way out of that-- so we will be there again), I kind of had a private-- just in front of DH-- meltdown based on their "objectively" pretty terrible treatment of us (they made us both cry, as I mentioned-- including all kinds of crazy accusations and directly personal insults). And my meltdown drove DH and I apart briefly (during the trip, just a day or so, but felt awful). So I'm "overthinking" this because I am trying to prevent MY "over"reaction to their behavior-- which has been proven pretty crummy at times.

I guess I'm trying to "get ahead of it."  Meaning more my reaction than what I can't control, which is their behavior. I feel like if I have some stock responses and some general sort of mantras for myself-- and as mentioned, DH and I can concentrate on not being... divided-and-conquered-- then I will feel a lot better about things and actually ENJOY what there is definitely to be enjoyed.

Lots and lots of great advice in this thread, and lots of great reassurance... which is what I guess I needed.  And I thank you for it!     [/quote]

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