Reply to 5 weeks pregnant, what should I tell my friend who went through IVF and wasn't successful?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went through fertility ups and downs for 5 years.  I was truly happy for my friends when they experienced pregnancies in that time.  I would recommend getting together one on one to tell her.  Don't put pressure on her to be a big part of your pregnancy (showers, birth hospital etc).  Let her deal with this on your terms.  And whatever you do. DO NOT COMPLAIN.  Morning sickness, pregnancy issues etc.  Just let her know - hey we are pregnant - due XXXXX.  Then ask about something important in her life - work, home travel etc.  If she wants to talk more about your pregnancy, she will bring the conversation back around.  If she doesn't, let it drop.  She isn't ready to go there.  She knows and will talk to you when she is ready.[/quote]

I agree with all of this except the part about getting together one on one.  Tell her over the phone so she can tear up without you seeing it.  Do not do this in person please, I think that is just cruel especially since it sounds like she will never have a child and is still coming to terms with that.  Also don't make a big deal over it.  Just tell her and move on to another subject.  Plenty of other peoe will gush and want to talk about it.  I had to tell an infertile friend and this is what I did.  I waited as long as possible, she was basically the last to know.[/quote]

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