Reply to Letting Go Of " Mr. Perfect."

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Reply to "Letting Go Of " Mr. Perfect.""

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[quote=Anonymous]I feel you completely, OP.

I, too, was a late bloomer. I started seriously dating around age 27 even though I had relationships in HS and college, I never thought of them as being serious. In fact, my college relationship of 2 years was more for convenience than romance. We were in the same place, at the same time, hung out with the same crowd, and had the same interests. I knew very early on that it wasn't going to be a relationship where we would grow old together.

On paper, he was a great guy. I just never had strong enough feelings to be his wife, or mother of his children. Add to it he was Catholic and wanted us to marry young, something I definitely was not on board with. I am a firm believer that you don't know yourself well enough right out of college to decide that your hopes and dreams, all the aspirations, ambitions, and future is rooted in 1 individual. I needed to explore. I needed time to find myself. I wanted to develop a professional career, and establish myself before I could envision myself as a wife and mother to someone else.

Last summer, at 31, I started online dating because my friends urged me after seeing that I had no luck with guys from working in a primary female environment and I wasn't about to swing that way!

The man I met was nothing like what I thought I would go for.

He was intellectual, unassumingly good looking, quiet, engineer type, and not professionally established. The latter made me nervous, but we spent some time getting to know each other.

Over the course of several months it became evident that I could really see myself with him, but we had completely different social groups (mine large, his intimate and most from childhood), we had different interests (he's athletic, I prefer to stay in with Netflix and my cat), we had different culinary taste (he's all vanilla, I'm all about the spice of the world), and we have different hobbies and interests (he's outdoorsy, I scream at the sight of a bug).

It was from our differences that made us appreciate each other more when we shared our world with the other. Around 6 months in we realized that we're meant for each other. The rest from there on out was easy...we became exclusive, committed to each other and moved toward endless discussion about family life, and how we want to grow old together.

The things I looked for was 
-compatibility
-genuine good heart and caring nature 
-ambitious and driven 
-willingness to compromise 
-sound financial judgment and wise decision making

The things to let go
-Looks -- they fade over time, hair and style can be changed 
-Money -- can be made, can be lost in a heartbeat
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