Reply to Bat Mitzvah for my daughter who reads ENGLISH very poorly?

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[quote=Anonymous]

OP - I think you need to be proud of the reading skills your daughter has attained so far despite her disability.  As others have said, do some research on how a Bat Mizvah can be done to accommodate a child with special needs to give them a reasonable chance to demonstrate knowledge of their faith -- but without undo pressure on them.  Your daughter will grow in her faith traditions and your family will, too, if you can find a ceremony that will work at the skill level she is confident at today and then might build upon over the next two years.  However, if you set a bar for a higher skill level in reading or memorization, it will only come down to pushing your daughter perhaps beyond her means and leading  to frustration on everyone's part.

Our daughter has a cognitive disability and today as a young adult reads at a solid 3rd grade/4th grade level and the material can be a simplified rendition of more detailed coverage of the same topic.  A good example is to look at Barnes and Noble and see the various versions of the classics - Little Women must have four different versions, but the essence comes through for her in a book with a lot of colorful illustrations, larger print font and simpler sentences.  She, in fact, made her first communion two years later than typical at age 9, without ever doing the sacrament of penance (because in our view she does not have a perception of major sin) and with a pastor who well understood that God welcomes all to his various houses of worship.  Just remember God does not ask what your reading level is to worship.   She did beautifully and went out to a four star restaurant  with guests for a full dinner afterwards.  (Subsequently she has served as a brides maid and maid of honor in her sisters' weddings.)

The key it would seem is to be sure that you find a synagogue and rabbi who is flexible and can work with you and her religious tutor to design a ceremony that will demonstrate a level of competence in faith traditions that is reasonable for her to attain, on a reading level and in an amount of reading material length that she will be comfortable without undue expectations of "what she might still learn in skills."  The cantor and/or rabbi participating can take on more and adjust to what works for her.
Once this is nailed down, then set the date.  You will find that your family and close friends will find her Bat Mizvah particularly moving and spiritually uplifting.  This process because you will need to be more involved with her learning will actually be a faith journey for you her parents,too.[/quote]

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