Reply to Nee etiquette help: would this be rude?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have an aunt who lives in another state and is a single mom to two teenage boys. She and I used to be close and I still love her dearly, but she is not he person I used to know. Many years ago, after her mother died, she fell back into alcoholism and lost her good job. She has been to rehab a couple of times since then and as far as I know is currently drinking. Several times a year, she asks me for money. DH is sweet and generous about it, and does not mind helping my family. However, seeing her poor decisions, along with repeated asking, makes it harder and harder (plus we are more stressed about money right now than usual).

She recently asked for money for groceries. I said I could put a grocery store gift card on my credit card because I do not want to just send her cash. Now I am on the grocer's website and see a "no alcohol or tobacco" option. She smokes and drinks, a very very expensive habit for someone on her income.

[b]Would it be a jerk move to use the no alcohol/tobacco option?[/b] I don't want to embarrass her if he goes to use it for a purchase including these things and is then denied, but I definitely do not want to fund her illness and contribute to her declining health.[/quote]

No. Tell her beforehand that you are sending a grocery gift card which does not include alcohol and tobacco. [/quote]

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