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[quote=Anonymous]60 year old Mom of 3 here.  I am close to all 3. At this point in life, I am also concerned with our 3 kids being close to EACH OTHER. We are not going to live forever....my kid being close was a goal I have always had.  Now that 2 of my kids are married, I see different ways people have kept their kids close.  In terms of keeping things equal and making each child feel loved...our 3 are far apart in age.  So when one was going to Europe and the others were not....we talked out loud to the other 2 how this was appropriate for Johnny and, they would each get special things when it was appropriate for them to venture out.  We explained that we did not have enough money to go together as a family....but that we want each of you to have certain experiences....and they would have their turn....and we enjoyed hearing about the adventures of the one going off.  Keeping track was not an option for us....when one was off doing something....we saw it as an opportunity to do something special with the ones at home.  This was in a family where the kids were far apart in age.
However, one of my kids in laws had their 3 children close in age.  The "dance" in their family was very different. The parents were diligent in keeping everything equal.  I don't know what their family was like as the kids were growing up.....but here is an example of how their "dance" looks like with 3 adult children. Let's say the bought one of their kids a couch....they would write a check to the other 2 for the cost of that couch.  Everything was equal.  
From one Mom to another, I would caution you to raise your kids and give them wings.  This can be VERY hard to do, at times. You sound very attached to your kids....which is beautiful.  I have seen Moms that don't let go....its all about respecting the ages and stages of their development.  Not letting them try different things, circling the wagons too much, can translate to your kids as you not having confidence in them....and therefor they will not have confidence in themselves.  Believe in them....and let them know it.  
Not sure if any of this makes sense....you asked for some details.  I skyped with a grandchild in the middle of writing this!  
You sound like a lovely Mom. All the best to you![/quote]

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