Reply to Dealing with ill FIL and ambivalent MIL and SILs

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Dealing with ill FIL and ambivalent MIL and SILs"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH doesn't say anything because this is the most passive family in the world. No one actually addresses anything head on; it's all joking and witty banter without any meaningful discussion occurring. I've actually pushed him to say something more serious to his sisters (like, oh, visiting their dad in rehab), but it hasn't happened beyond a "hey, maybe if you have time and you're not too busy you could stop by to see dad." There's no direct -- "dad is seriously ill; you should make some effort to connect with him."[/quote]

Well apparently MIL isn't passive since she managed to leave him.

If I were in your shoes I would not be able to bite my tongue. The lack of compassion and empathy for their own parent is stunning. I would call them up and say exactly what you said: "You know, DH hasn't said anything, but your father is seriously ill and would appreciate a visit from you. DH and I are struggling to do all we can for him and the least you could do is visit him, for his sake."

I would also make clear that anyone who visits you for the holidays will be expected to at least visit FIL for a few minutes. Is he in your house? If he's at a facility I guess this isn't enforceable, but if he is living with you then visiting you is visiting him.

I know it's tough, especially when it isn't even your own family. I recently had a similar conversation with my sister (who is not nearly as selfish as the people you're describing) and it was tough. ("You know, grandparents are almost 90 and would appreciate a visit from you. I know finances and time are tight now that you have a baby, but if you have time to spend a week in Maine with your friends, you have time to fly 2 hours to visit them for a day. They won't be here forever.") She didn't go. But I felt better having done the right thing.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics