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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wait, are you saying he is unable to find work as a teacher?[/quote]

This times a million. If it's a certification question, he should look into working in a higher demand area like SPED or ESOL to get back into a school district.

OP, I think this is so, so hard. I also am married to a spouse who was unemployed or under employed and who spent a ton of time and money on a graduate degree that is basically worthless because she doesn't want to work in that field. My DW was in the midst of a crisis of confidence and depression, OP. And unlike your DH, basically was sort of mentally checked out at home (we too had two kids back to back). I had the same question, OP. I didn't really know what to do except try my best to make things work. First, I went to therapy -- alone -- to work through my own resentment issues so I could be supportive without any agenda but DW's interest. Second, I encouraged DW to realistically look at her life and choices and decide what's what. Third, I put a deadline in place. DW needed to take a job (she was offered several but turned them down) and pay her own student loan payments and contribute to daycare or else I would just go it alone with the kids.

Eventually DW saw the writing on the wall and got with the program. She finally accepted a job and while it's not her "dream" she is contributing to her family financially and she is engaging in less of the self inflicted crisis stuff that she did before. She also is in therapy, which I put on her to do (I would join but she doesn't think it's necessary). Things are better but I will say it's hard to support a spouse through a job loss. This is the worst side of for better or worse.[/quote]

Very similar story in our house, but with my DH and without the therapy (which would have really helped us). It took a LONG time after a grad program for him to find a job, and this was also on the heels of IF + multiple IVFs + sick child. I too have been very resentful for long stretches, and needed to find my own way to getting some peace about that. In your plus column, OP (as was true for me), you have a great Dad on your hands who is hands-on with the kids. Our biggest plus from recent years is how close my DH and child are. When things are at their roughest, I remind myself how much it would kill all three of us to split up this family and not see each other every day. Not a lot of wisdom to impart, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone.[/quote]

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