Reply to Terrible, selfish, and lonely

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Terrible, selfish, and lonely"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I am a woman, presumably straight, married.

A while ago I met a woman at a school event.  I was attracted to her right from the get-go, and upon introducing myself, found that we had a lot in common.  I was shy, bumbling, and ashamed of my attraction to her, and I didn’t reach out right away even after exchanging email addresses because I felt weird.  We did end up emailing back and forth as I had some (insert legitimate reason here) questions, and I saw her a few times during the year.  I thought the strong attraction I felt would go away, but it didn’t.  Eventually, I met her again at a party, and having come out of a long winter (literal and figurative) decided spontaneously to go for it.

I've had the best time ever getting to know her and we've become real friends.  But I'm still crushing on her, and I’m fairly certain she does not share those feelings or have similar thoughts.  At one time, I thought she must have known about my crush; I am a terrible liar, very bad at concealing my feelings, not to mention the large amount of flirtation I engaged in.  I thought she must know, and she’s still happy to spend quite a bit of time with me, so it might be all right.  I’m not so sure now – if it were me being lusted after by a friend I didn’t feel the same about, would I hang around?  Probably not.  So she really doesn’t know or is in some type of denial.  Or maybe she just really, really likes the attention – which is plausible, since that is a dear part of her personality.  Neither she nor I have a large group of friends, and both of our marriages have difficulties.

I regret not being more forthcoming about my feelings from the beginning.  It may have meant that the friendship would not have developed.  But now it has – and I’m in too deep, and I think she is as well.  I am imaginative but can’t imagine a good ending for this.  Am I going to just fester like this for as long as I know her?  I genuinely like her, and haven’t met anyone with whom I’ve had this sort of emotional and intellectual connection for years and years - I can't throw it away, but can't change it.  I feel there is something I should say, but that only comes from selfishness, right?

Helpful words please.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics