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[quote=Anonymous]My dad is dying of cancer.  He's in a hospice facility and is in his last days.  Things are very, very bad right now and I am very close with both of my parents.  My in-laws decided that they want to visit my dad in his hospice room to say goodbye.  They have never been close to my dad and in fact my father-in-law openly dispises him and is horrible to him whenever they end up at the same event.  My in-laws told me that the reason they want to see him is to say goodbye and "it's more for them than my dad".  They have also complained about how they've tried calling my mom several times to offer their sympathies and she hasn't responded.

My dad is a shell of his former self and wouldn't want anyone seeing him in this condition.  He is almost completely incoherent, has a catheter and has lost a tremendous amount of weight.  He also can't communicate, is very confused and agitated and has taken to ripping off his blankets and hospital gown (pretty much laying in bed naked).  Like I said, it's really really bad.  And just so difficult to deal with a loved one in this condition.  None of his friends have seen him since he took the turn for the worse and he wouldn't want them to.

I basically had to spend the entire conversation with my in-laws explaining to them why visiting my dad isn't a good idea and apologizing for my mom not getting back to them.  They are pretty adamant that they want to come to say goodbye.  I'm appalled by their request and their lack of consideration.  They wanted to know the name of the facility (I didn't tell them) and I'm afraid they're going to call around and just show up.

It's just a really tough time and I'm not sure how to handle my in-laws without ruining the superficial relationship that I currently have with them.  I'm thinking of chickening out and blaming the hospice, telling them that the nurses indicate he's too agitated with stimulation (which is actually true but we control it by leaving the room when he gets agitated).  Thoughts??  (Please be gentle, it's a really tough time for me right now).
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