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[quote=Anonymous][quote=suenelson]If the relationship between your friend and her BF is serious, your friend needs to set [b]boundaries[/b].  No way he can meet up with some girl he used to have feelings for.  No.  Way.

If the potential end goal for the relationship is marriage, then [u]BOTH[/u] your friend and her BF need to protect the relationship [i]at all costs[/i].  That means saying "No" to all other girls/guys that come along, not flirting with disaster, not engaging in "just friends" but I used to crush on them.  Protect the relationship with everything you have in you.  She needs to put her foot down now.  And if it were the other way - your friend was going to go for dinner or lunch with some other dude - her BF should throw the same red flag.

My hubby was friends with his ex before we started dating seriously.  He went to her wedding.  No feelings on his side anymore.  But he's a catch, they dated for many years ever since high school, and she may still have had feelings for him.  And she was married.  Even if there were no feelings anymore - no way.  It's me or her dude.  He called her, said "I can't see you or talk to you anymore." - and she totally understood.  And it let me know he's committed to me.  It wasn't easy to get it through his thick skull, because from his perspective he there was nothing wrong, but he got it and appreciated the boundary setting.  Now we've been married for 6+ years, two kiddos, amazing marriage, lots of sex, open communication, never any doubt or worry about another lady or guy being in the picture from either side.

Healthy. Boundaries.

- Sue 
My blog: [url=http://womenandsexuality.com]Women and Sexuality[/url][/quote]

Jesus, how insecure are you? I hope you don't have any male friends, because that would be a double standard wouldn't it?[/quote]

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