Reply to My aunt needs to downsize, anyone succeed in convincing an elder to make the move?

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[quote=Anonymous]She's 78, lives in a large home in a decent area several states away. She worked hard for years, and had a decent nest egg. Then her one son got into legal woes, and she cashed out her 401k to pay the lawyer. Son ended up in jail anyway, and got deported later. My aunt still pays his expenses overseas as he is not self-supporting. Her daughter who lives with her is 58, unemployed for the past 6 years. The daughter gets a small disability payment from SS, but the disability (visual loss) could be fixed with a 30 minute operation which the daughter refuses to get because "God will cure it" if she prays hard enough. 
My sister and I normally try to help my aunt with unexpected bills eg, for the plumber, but it's coming to the point where my aunt really can't make even expected bills like property taxes, so she's doing the reverse mortgage thing...
My sister and I have talked to her about downsizing, maybe getting a 2 bedroom condo since my aunt and cousin are both old enough to live in a senior living community, but my aunt is clinging to her home...But I'm getting so I dread the calls when the fridge goes bad, or the AC burns out. I try to remind myself that my cousin/her daughter is mentally ill, and can't act reasonably: get the eye surgery and return to her 55k/year job instead of using her mom's resources. But it's hard to NOT feel irritated at my cousin, or to wonder how she will cope as my Aunt's care-giver as she ages...will she pray instead of administering the asthma meds or diabetes pills my aunt needs? At least in a senior community health aides are on hand to help...
My sister and I are close to our aunt as she was wonderful to my Dad when he was still alive.
WWYD? [/quote]

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