Reply to How do I nicely say no to this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How good are your reasons? Is she awful to you or your kids? Is she going to rub stuff in your face? What's the deal? We need more details. [/quote]

Okay fine. Here are the more details:
She's been really mean to me in passive-aggressive ways the last few months. I will not say a word to her about this because I know she had a stressful pregnancy and now has a newborn. However, I am going through an incredibly stressful time right now and can't really not let it penetrate and hurt me.

She wants to talk to me about moving across the country to move in with my (formerly very verbally and emotionally abusive) parents, which I very much don't want to do. My brother, her husband, is pushing for this to happen. Being that she always dismisses everything I say, I don't want to bother explaining why I don't want to go. I am also very fragile right now and don't want to discuss it with her, someone I've never been close with.

If I were in a good place in my life, I'd suck up the fact that we have almost nothing in common and can't spend time together without there being awkward silences. Even with my brother being in the next room. So going to lunch with her alone, now? I just don't want to. Normally I say yes to every invitation. I posted about this elsewhere on this site, but about a month ago my brother told me that my skin condition (which entails dry skin flaking off my body and scalp and around my hairline, which is completely mortifying for me and something I am desperately trying to get under control) grosses him and SIL out, and they are concerned that a flake will fall in the baby's mouth when she's cooing or something if I hold her. He wasn't saying it to be hurtful, but it definitely hurt a lot and now I'm even more embarrassed around them than I was before. [/quote]

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