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[quote=Anonymous]Decide what you ARE willing to do, and then invite them to do that. You don't need to inform them or explain to them why certain gatherings won't work.  Just say "oh that sounds fun, but that doesn't work for us right now. Would you like to come for brunch on the 19th?".  I find turning down an invite but then extending one works well.

I also don't travel to them if I can help it.  But I don't tell them this.  I just plan things that are closer to our house and invite them.  If they don't want to to travel, that's on them.  They live 45-60 mins away.  I don't want to to go to their house more than about 4 times a year, but I'd never TELL them this.  I just make sure that doesn't really happen.

I also separate out my feelings of annoyance about things they do to me from their relationship with my DD.  They LOVE my DD and are really wonderful grandparents.  Even if they drive me nuts, it's good for my DD to have such loving people in her life.  I make that my mantra when dealing with my MIL making rude comments to me about my haircut or whatever.[/quote]

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