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[quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry this is really tough, OP.  And I'm glad you are not going to just put up with it.

Trying to be kind here.  In my opinion, it's way more important that you do what you can to help develop empathy, compassion, and work ethic in your daughter than it is for her to be academically successful.  We have way too many financially successful, self-centered, entitled pricks in our society.  You're still raising her - please do what you can while you can.

So, IMO, that means, in part, teaching her that she is not entitled to maid service and laundry service.  Make her responsible for her laundry and her space as well as other jobs in the house.  If she needs your help because she is on a deadline for school, she'll need to ask for your help, and then show appreciation for your help.  Does she have an allowance (for nothing)?  If so, I'd eliminate that.    Flip everything from "getting" to "earning".

Empathy is a bit harder now that she's older, but I'd intentionally model your empathy for others in lots of discussions.  Talk about what's going on, talk about how you feel for people, talk about what you can do.  "I'd like you to watch this YouTube story I just watched about Syrian refugees...I feel so sad for that mom with a toddler whose husband died...she's living in a tent and must be so cold and scared.  It reminds me of when you were a toddler and your dad went away for business for a week, and you were sick, and I felt so helpless.  But this mom must feel a million times more scared and helpless; my heart breaks for her.  What do you think she's feeling?  I wonder what we could do from here.  I heard that there is a coat and blanket drive for Syrian refugees at Government Center.  What would you think about working together to collect some blankets and coats?"[/quote]

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