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[quote=Anonymous]The proximity of my in laws makes things difficult for me, first of all, as they live 20 minutes away, and my MIL in particular acts as if we had three children for her to enjoy in the way that most befits her.  Over the years, I have always endeavored to act classy, be diplomatic, and stand firm on the issues that are the most important to me.  Pick your battles.  I also stopped feeling that I needed to do every event and every holiday and every special thing my in laws want to happen.  I never tell my DH he can't see them, he is free to go and take one or two or three of the children with him if he feels like dropping by their house, but I have started tailoring my visits over the years to trying to stick to the big events like Christmas and Thanksgiving and Easter.  As my kids have gotten older, each of them have decided on their own whether they their grandmother annoying (my oldest is 13 and can't stand her for many of the same reasons, but she stays polite but is distant, while my 9 year old son still enjoys his local grandparents company but prefers my mom).  My MIL really shot herself in the foot with my littlest by pushing herself on her all the time.  My LO is 4 now, and she avoids my MIL like crazy.  For my own sanity, when we do the big events, I try to stay happy and pleasant and focus on the kids, and try to have my husband spend as much time with his family as possible – otherwise, he will complain that my attitude is keeping him from his family, which is not something I want to do, but I can see why he might think that.  All in all, it's a pain, and I envy my BIL and his wife who don't live locally and really don't have to deal with a lot of the crap.[/quote]

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