Reply to I am worried ex is mentally and physically abusing our dc

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "I am worried ex is mentally and physically abusing our dc"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Talk to your divorce attorney about how to document.  I would be very cautious about calling CPS without any physical evidence.  N[b]arcissistic people will deny anything and make crazy accusations against you.[/b]  I wouldn't have the confidence that, absent some kind of evidence, CPS could figure out his narcissism. [/quote]

OP, this is my worry. Last time I confronted him, he said I was lying, making stories up, putting this in DC's head, etc. So I had to just write down any mentions and wait. The problem is, call it intuition, I know something is going on. But DC loves dad. But something is up, because dad is looping me into spanking conversations now in front of DC, which is weird, because he knows I don't spank or want to. And he's trying to unite us as both spankers with DC. I'm worried. I want to protect DC but i just know with someone whose whole family is as good as he is about denial and lying, I'm going to lose. And before anyone asks, I was stupid, and young and didn't value my own instincts. Every time something was weird and they shot me down and denied it, I believed them. It didn't happen until we were divorced, and I saw all they're all capable of, till I understood that for years, I was mislead, gaslighted and mentally abused. And that it is their MO. And there is not a day that I don't regret that I was stupid to not see it, and now have a child in it. [/quote]

This is why I really recommended you consult your attorney.  You have to document very carefully.  For example, with the spanking conversation -- one way to document is to send an email to DH sort of recapping what was said about spanking and about how you don't spank, it isn't recommended by the doctor, and you hope he isn't using as a disciplinary technique and providing some links to alternative discipline techniques (like time out or whatever is age-appropriate).   It's a way to get what he said on the record and come off as a cooperative spouse.  You might also consider getting DC to see a psychotherapist.  But, that can be a bit tricky; it has to be someone you trust and whom can see the situation for what it is.  If DC talks about physical abuse with a psychotherapist, the psych is a mandatory reporter.  A child abuse report coming from a mandatory reporter is more reliable than one coming from you.  Another technique is to try to have someone with you at child custody exchanges so that there is a witness to your ex's crazy behavior.  Try to keep contact to forms that are records (email and texts) rather than phone conversations.   But, please, talk to an attorney, because this is a potentially difficult situation.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics