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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Parents don't want to hear how they let you down, even those not in denial. And honestly, who would? What do you gain out of shutting your mother down with those reminders? You're using her mental illness and how it manifested in the past to dismiss her today. Why? What are you gaining from that? Is that actually how you want to deal with it or is it a knee-jerk defensive reaction that isn't getting you what you want, but is just further alienating your mother?[/quote]

She didn't exactly "let me down" she neglected me as a young child, abused me, left my young siblings and I alone many times. One of these times our house burnt down. That is scratching the surface. It's bigger than a "let me down" situation. Underneath the criticism over my poor domestic skills is the pain of not being able to even talk about my childhood, the reality of it. When she pretends to be this person, and it is an act, the mendacity of the whole situation, the fact that we are all lying about how we grew up feels so false and painful. I don't want to hurt my mom. I just want us all to be able to reflect on real events. Stuff that makes you laugh it was so ridiculous. That's how my siblings talked about it, not as a shameful past but as an absurd shared experience. Now, we feel like talking about it is a betrayal and I think it is so unhealthy. [/quote]

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