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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I don't really know how to reconcile these feelings with the reality of my mother's stubborn revisionism[/quote]

I call my mother on shit like this.  Drives me fucking nuts!  My father was a horrifically abusive man who made our lives hell.  Best thing that ever happened to me was his death - seriously!  Yet, my mother looks back fondly on my childhood and will occasionally make comments about my DH who, though he has flaws and can get on my nerves, is NOTHING like my father.  WTF!  Are we remembering the same childhood and the same man?

(sigh - calming breath) When this happens, I remind my mother that it's difficult for me to think fondly of those times because I was either waiting for the shoe to drop (ie, my father raging) or that it was a great cake but too bad the old man smashed it before we got any of it (or too bad he fed the T-day turkey to the dogs or threw out the Christmas tree or I had to wear long sleeves to cover the bruises,....).  I can't let it go but I try not to get worked up about it.  I imagine as she gets older, her mind tries to re-form those memories because they're weighing on her.  I'm just not at a place where I can assist her with that.  [/quote]

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