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[quote=Anonymous]Asked my mother this weekend as she was visiting. To be fair, she said this in response to the topic of my sensitivity to dust. She asked if I am allergic to cleaning products as well.

My mother was basically a hoarder when I was growing up and now she likes to play Betty Crocker on visits. She gives me cleaning tips, like how to clean under the fridge and poo poos my sponges, saying I should put them in the dish washer (she was right about the sponges). But ultimately, what irks me deeply is that I am not allowed to hint at the kind of upbringing my siblings and I had. A couple years ago in response to overhearing my brother mention our dysfunctional childhood, she said she wished she never had children. She had a hissy fit for about a month.

So, my mother says some subtle thing about how the counter is smudged and I see red. In response to the initial comment, I told her MY house is clean and it got that way because I use cleaning products.  But I know the narrative will be that I lost my cool and that I snapped at her without provocation. So, I felt guilty and awful and angry all at once. I don't really know how to reconcile these feelings with the reality of my mother's stubborn revisionism. I can't talk about it to my siblings either because they want to take the high road and not live in the past. Her mother was just like her, she set the tone, everyone just basked in her charisma and ignored the abuse.  Anyway, I'm glad to get that out.   [/quote]

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