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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How close is your relationship with each of them?  Is it satisfying? Do you feel like you are able to keep up with their schedules and still maintain your bond?

The reason why I ask is that we want a third child, and my main reason for hesitating is that I know it means they will get "less of me".  I have a 3 and 6 year old. What I find most rewarding about parenting is the close bond, the cuddles, the day trips, weekends as a family, the quality time together.  I wonder if having a third will tax us and outweigh the rewards.  Parenting is such a hard job, I don't want to lose what I find most motivating. Am I being naive? What is it like with older kids, and how is your connection with them?[/quote]

I don't know what you mean by "older" kids exactly. Two of mine are so old that they're out of the house. The youngest is nine. The ones who don't live here are across the country. We text or FaceTime or call probably every other day. Sometimes if they're super busy we'll go two days without contact. I know when they're traveling, but not necessarily if they're sleeping at someone else's house or what their hour-to-hour schedule is. They're adults and need some privacy and autonomy, you know?

The 9 and 12 yr old are both super busy (some would say over scheduled, but they're happy and thriving so it's fine). We talk a lot on our way places, and with each kid there are specific activities that wind up being bonding moments. My 12 yr old and I have the best talks while doing laundry. My 9 yr old loves baking so we do that together. I think once kids are out of diapers, life gets MUCH easier. When the two youngest were little and the two oldest were in middle school/high school, I had a nanny for the little ones, because the two older ones really needed more time with me, not less. It's not that they needed me to cut their food or tie their shoes, but just to be a presence around them. [/quote]

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