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[quote=Anonymous]My ILs are nice people, and I like them. But the holidays are upon us, and their visits often stress me out. I'm hoping some understanding/insight/advice into a particular behavior will lead to me being more relaxed this Thanksgiving.

MIL is a "hoverer." From dawn until bedtime, it never stops. When she plays with DD, she follows her around and is in her face. When she talks to me, she follows me so closely around the kitchen that I have accidentally stepped on her foot. When she talks to anyone, she sits very close. There is no down time. When someone leaves the room, even to shower or go to the restroom, she asks "Where is Jim?" And accuses people of "disappearing?"

She expects us to all talk to each other all the time, with no breaks, no TV, no magazines, no phones, etc. I'm all for a proper chat, but on multi-day visits of all-day face time, it is just way too much.

We do call weekly and visit/have them visit at least every six weeks, so she's not starved for contact. DH says she's always been like this.

I'm not hoping to change her. I am hoping for some strategies to deal with this dynamic--and, maybe if someone can help me understand this behavior? I feel like if I understood it more, or had some good coping strategies, I could be more relaxed around her. I think everyone picks up on my tension, and I feel bad about that and want to adapt.[/quote]

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