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[quote=Anonymous]Had another fight last night (ongoing cycle) with DH about lack of romance/spark in our relationship. He comes on to me for sex after 5-7 days of minimal conversation, affection, lack of affectionate texts/notes, gifts, minimal help with house maintenance. I recoil and reject him, "Really?! You hardly make an effort with me all week then you expect me to be in the mood?!". We spend a precious kid free hour talking about how I wish things were better/more romantic (He's fine with status quo, states he is "very happy" with me) until we're both exhausted and nothing is resolved. We wake up, pretend like things are normal, and go on with life. Maybe he will be a little bit more romantic for the next few days, but we tend to repeat this cycle about once a month. (Its unrelated to my PMS, fyi).

Some of this stems from a botched date night last weekend that he was supposed to plan but didn't. I arranged sitter, cleaned house, prepared kids, dressed nicely did hair and makeup, sexy underthings for later. He came home from work, changed into something unattractive, and said "Where do you want to go?" after I had already asked him to make plans for the date night activities. No reservations, no special ideas. I was disappointed but didn't want to ruin evening by bringing it up (it came up later).

I truly find this so exhausting and wonder if my expectations for our marriage at this point is out of whack. Our kids are under age 4. He works full time in a professional role (about 50 hours a week). I don't have role models of a healthy adult relationship so need to outsource this. Should I just stop expecting and wanting more from him and try to make peace with lack of romance and attention from him right now?

Thanks!

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