Reply to My former girlfriend wanted to hurt me so she trash talked me to my fiance

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Reply to "My former girlfriend wanted to hurt me so she trash talked me to my fiance"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you're blaming other people for a situation that you created. I can see why your fiance is upset. The reality is that you've lied to him several times.

I don't care what you did with the ex and don't think it's anyone else's business. But, when your BF asked, you should have either said that you don't want to discuss the past in detail or told the truth. But it sounds like rather than telling him that you wanted to keep your private life private, you told him a watered-down version and led him to believe you were telling the whole truth. So, he feels deceived and rightfully so.

Second, it sounds like you didn't tell your fiance that your "good friend" was an ex? That was wrong. Again, I don't think anyone should have to provide a detailed sexual history, but if you're still friendly with the ex it was messed up to conceal from your fiance that you used to go out. Anyone would be pissed by that.

Third, playing demure in the bedroom is another type of lie. If you don't enjoy whatever he was suggesting, you should have told him so. But if you pretended to have never tried it and acted like you were too shy . . . Just like with the other things, you were pretending to be someone you're not. Lies by omission are still lies.

Honestly, he's now caught you in so.many lies I suspect he's wondering if he knows you at all. My advice is to sit down and show him that you understand why he's upset. Tell him you lied, explain why, and acknowledge what he must be feeling. Ask him for the chance to be completely honest with him, and then do it.

That doesn't mean you owe him a play-by-play.of your past sex life or that you owe it to him to engage in any experimentation he wants if you're not interested. But be honest about it - "the details of my intimate relationship with Steve are private, and I'd like you to respect that."

Also, don't blame your old friend. She had no way of knowing how much you'd deceived your fiance. Sure, she sounds obnoxious, but if you hadn't lied so.much nothing she said could have caused you these problems. 
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