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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anyone been here before and have advice?  I called my mom the other night to tell her that we were planning to go to CA this year for Christmas to visit my in-laws.  My family lives down in FL and we have traveled down there every single year for over 10 years to visit them for Christmas.  The only year we did not go was when my DS1 was only a few weeks old.  I told my mom that we would come for Thanksgiving this year and could plan another long weekend to celebrate Christmas in January, but she was very hostile and claimed my husband was trying to keep me away from my "family".  I'm baffled at her response to my news - [b]I truly thought she would be supportive - especially since we were going to make a planned trip down there in three weeks for Thanksgiving - a holiday we typically don't travel for.[/b]  She told me on the phone not to bother to come for Thanksgiving - that she was making plans to visit her father who is out of state (something she has never done).  I don't know what to believe, but am feeling so much guilt for my decision. I understand my mom is hurt that she won't get to see the grandbabies on Christmas day, but it's just a day and we plan to be there sooner.  What's the big deal?  Am I in the wrong?  [/quote]

Isn't it kind of late to be figuring this stuff out?  Were you scared to tell your mom or what?

It sounds like your mom is used to having more than her fair share of holiday time--I mean, why would you fly down for Thanskgiving and then again at a different time for Christmas?  Why not just one?

But as for what to do: Tell your mom that you'll miss her for Thanksgiving and offer a couple long weekend options for you to visit in Dec or Jan and ask which works best for her.  Let her deal with her feelings.  And stop feeling so guilty! Alternating holidays is a normal thing--and frankly if your ILs have never ever been with you on Christmas all these years, spare a little guilt for them.[/quote]

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