Reply to What to do to get DW self-esteem back?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What to do to get DW self-esteem back?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Sorry, been busy and was thinking over your kind replies...

[quote=Anonymous]Change has to come from within. Sounds like she doesnt see a problem and doesnt want to change. Not sure what you can do here.[/quote]

I had been thinking that before, but want to keep trying. It is my worst fear, that she is happy to be a shut-in and prefers living through Facebook.

[quote=Anonymous]
For starters, what you guys need is balance. You are not going to make your wife more like you, and trying to do so is likely to make her self esteem issues worse, not better. It sounds like your heart is in the right place, though.

So for starters, it sounds like get together need to happen in some kind of neutral ground. My husband, who is socially anxious, does a lot better with social activities that have some kind of a purpose. A party for the sake of a party stresses him out. Maybe you and your wife could go see a movie with one other couple and then go out to dinner afterward. Seeing the movie first will give her something specific to talk about at dinner.

Also, listen to her about the things she enjoys. When you say "solitary activities" what does that mean? When you say you are adventurous, what kind of activities are you talking about?

I like people, but the idea of a competitive activity with friends does not sound like fun to me. Maybe if you gave some examples of things you like doing that she dislikes as well as some things that she likes doing, that would get more suggestions.[/quote]

A movie with a couple is a good idea. We haven't had a night out with friends in about 5 years, so I had forgotten!

Not trying to make her into another me, and I haven't pushed other than suggest things to do and get shot down. She has her hobbies, I have mine. I think we have some balance and that isn't pushing us apart. Perhaps, it's more of the difference in our personalities.

Socially, she is a wall flower at parties... she's smart and can talk, but won't. I think people see it's odd and uncomfortable seeing me involving her only to get a yes/no/polite smile. She won't go to concerts or games (the bleachers), and paintball, laser tag, even air hockey... anything like that is out for her. I get it, those are not her thing, though I think it may go too far, an unhealthy anti-competitive side to her. I'm burnt out on walks in the neighborhood or countryside... her only outdoor activity.

To put it in words, I feel abandoned and think she is okay with that. That worries me for what her perspective is towards our relationship. Sure we need to discuss it together, but I'm dreading that.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this difference but it is on my mind enough to post here!

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics