Reply to Respite Care Dos and Donts?

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[quote=Anonymous]

OP - Your relationship with this young woman is what any parent of a disabled young adult daughter would hope for, and I can understand how the waters can become murky.
You just need to sit down with maybe your friend's Mom and one-to-one remind her of how you and her daughter just became friends naturally and that you value this friendship when as you phrased it both of your schedules allow you to be free to get together.  Furthermore, you also now have an infant who demands your close and main attention when not working etc.  Thus, you would prefer to preserve the friendship with your friend and not take on extra hours of what you might say as setting up a first, firm boundary of overnight respite care.  If there was a special event such as an anniversary or social event they would like to go to as a couple, they could certainly ask if you and your husband would be free to have your friend come over for a few hours.

I would share that you, in fact, do not want to think of your time with XX as "respite care," but there are resources in the area for folks who could do that which the Mom may not have thought about.  I would mention:  Care.com which has a lot of college aged/young adults who will watch individuals with special needs.  There is also a sitter list at American University.  Somehow you need to share that you value dear daughter as a friend and do not want to establish a caregiver/client relationship.  Correct me if I am wrong.  I suspect this couple could use some time alone and just naturally have turned to you and DH without realizing just how much time they may be asking of you (with a new baby) nor how it might change a friendship.[/quote]

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