Reply to If you had an affair, did you bury your feelings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you need to realize one pivitol aspect here. YOU are the victim here, in every single way. YOU are not to blame for your husband going outside of the marriage. He had every chance to come to you about how ''neglected'' he felt, but instead he CHOSE to run to another person to feel truly validated.

So please, do not blame yourself one iota here. You did nothing wrong. NOTHING. At. All.

In order for you both to overcome this hardship, he needs to admit that none of this was any fault of yours and that he was the one who created this ugly mess, him and him alone.

Until he can do this, the state of your marriage will only stay the way it is right now.

If he cannot or will not budge on his perspective of why he cheated, then your marriage is toast. You will have no other option but to leave.[/quote]

[b]stop.  this is WAY too black and white for most marriages.[/b]  [/quote]

Agree.  And I think OP was pretty honest in seeing her side of this, i.e. PPD and not putting effort into her husband.  I am not justifying his affair but I can see how it happens.  For me, I handled closing my affair by just putting it behind me.  I was just over it.  No need for deep introspection, and mine was similar to what her DH's was, except I did not get caught.  Once my DW was ready to be a full partner, I was ready to end the affair.  I don't know what else I could do other than just forget about my AP.[/quote]

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