Reply to Downsizing aging parent: 2 sibs who live close+1 who lives far=drama

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Reply to "Downsizing aging parent: 2 sibs who live close+1 who lives far=drama"

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[quote=Anonymous]There are a few different things going on.
Piecing together your posts, you offered $$ for movers but made it clear you don't trust your BIL SIL with the money you gave and made a big deal out of pestering them for information and finally calling the movers yourself and taking your frustrations out on them (who are minimum wage workers, seriously?)
There is a LOT more than hiring movers to make this happen, you chose to zone in on this and blow it up since you were paying. Am i right ? 
You are now planning on showing up, already saying you will just be making an appearance, with 2 children who will need your constant attention, knowing full well you will not be actually able to help. Naps, meals, activities for 2 kids in the middle of packing a house? 
I guess I don't understand what you are thinking. In the kindest way possible, can you explain why you spent money and time on dragging 2 kids to a move?
It sounds like you are setting up road block after road block and then pouting about how you can't get down the road.
Here are some ideas for how you can help in the future:
If your sisters live in that town, ask them for babysitting referrals and hire someone to watch your kids. Your sister has 2 kids, who is watching hers and where? Offer to pay for 2 sitters so all the kids can be together.
Have you explained why your DH can't do this?
You haven't explained the ins and outs of your mothers new situation, but will she need lawn care, meals, help with shopping, laundry, prescriptions, rides to MD appts, maintenance. 
Have you asked your sisters what she needs and then offer to take over finding and monitoring something?
One last thing. It seems like you realize that due to time and distance you can only offer $$, which may very well, however you then want to criticize and micromanage the people doing the work of managing the money. 
You can't do that. You are basically giving money with strings attached when you can't/won't do the managing yourself.
That's not fair when you are very clear that you can't/won't do it yourself.[/quote]

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