Reply to Should I be worried about my MIL?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Should I be worried about my MIL?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Yes, you should be worried about her. Your husband, her son, should be worried.

Please re-read your post as if you're a stranger hearing a stranger's story. The focus until near the end is on the offended feelings you and your husband have over her perceived rudeness, silence, lack of manners, etc. Those feelngs are understandable! But can you both get past that to see that this probably is not personal towards you but possibly symptoms? I think you're almost there:

Sudden behavioral change.
"Barely" eats.
Inattention, sudden shifts in attention (she's playing with DC and focused on him, then suddenly loses focus).
Doesn't talk.
But also acts needier than in the past (?), asking when she can come back, etc.

She may be depressed, or may be having side effects from her meds, she may be starting the early stages of some form of dementia, and yes, there is a genetic connection and you know her mom had dementia. Dementias can make people behave VERY differently, including rude behaviors, lack of normal social politeness, inappropriate behavior, blurting out rude or weird statements, acting nicer than they ever were, acting meaner than they ever were, or just exaggerating their lifelong foibles, etc.

It's a good thing that you are willing to consider that she may be ill, mentally and/or physically, but it sounds like your husband has a lot of baggage in his relationship with her that might make it difficult for him or you to be objective if her behaviors are rude or odd. The problem with any condition that changes a person's behavior is that it's difficult, as a family member or caregiver, not to have hurt feelings when that person acts out toward you (or ignores you, in this case). Is your husband going to be able to step back from his own emotions -- are you also going to be able to do that?-- and calmly try to start figuring out what's wrong with MIL? It's OK to have the feelings you do have and to own them, but now it's time to decide if you're going to let things muddle along, or take some action. You already are taking the first step by bringing up depression and dementia -- that's a good start.

Does she live alone? Does she have any close relative or other person (pastor, friend, neighbor) in her own town who can work on getting her to a doctor? Is it possible to contact her doctor where she lives? It sounds as if she needs help but when she's back on her own familiar turf; she's likely to resist or clam up if you or your husband tries to approach her about depression or a general health screening while she is with you. But I'd be in touch immediately with anyone in her home or town to whom she might listen..

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics