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[quote=Anonymous]Looking for some outside perspective on what could be happening with my MIL.  She is currently visiting from out of town and is staying with us for about a week, which she does a few times each year, mostly to see DC. I believe MIL has been on some sort of anti-depressant or similar medication since DH's father died a few years ago, and her personality changed abruptly around the same time.  To some extent, maybe that's expected because it was a really hard time for her.  But the change is alarming.  She used to be very judgmental, "everything has to be perfect" type who had little regard for anyone else's feelings.  She was very strict with DH and had very rigid expectations of her family.  She is now this strange shell of a woman who does not care about much and is totally oblivious to what is happening around her.  She has zero attention span, barely eats anything and seems to have no interest in having a regular conversation with either DH or me.  We end up having to tell her the same thing 5 times and she acts like she's hearing it for the first time.  Yet she also gets hyper around DC - she gets really animated and loud and gives DC all of her attention, but then gets easily distracted and DC will run off and get into something and she doesn't notice.  After DC goes to bed, she sits on her ipad and plays solitaire, doesn't even try to have a conversation with us.  Or on the rare occasion we are talking, she will interrupt our conversation to answer her phone without saying "excuse me" or "I should take this" etc.  On her last visit, we were all watching a movie and she answered her phone right in the middle of it.  I eventually shut the movie off and we left because we had no idea how long she'd be.  It's like she has become oblivious to normal social behavior, and this was a woman who used to be the first to criticize someone else for having bad manners! The only aspect of her personality that has remained constant is her total disregard for others' feelings, it's like she has no clue how her behavior affects others. She never asks us how we are doing.  She will call DH and immediately ask if she can talk to DC. No "hi, how have you been".

DH and his mother have always had a rocky relationship, but it's getting worse because DH has no clue what's happening with her and his patience is worn thin.  They don't talk about feelings or have deep conversations in his family (anything beyond surface-level pleasantries), and anytime you ask her how things are going with her, it's always "fine."  So I realize that she may be quiet and laying low in part because there's tension between them, but the other things don't add up -- no attention span, ambivalence about everything, easily distracted, oblivious. And she's always asking us when she can come for a visit, so I don't think this has anything to do with her not wanting to be around us. Does this sound like a normal personality/attitude of someone who is on those types of meds?  I have no idea what this could be and I am worried it is something more serious, neurologically-speaking. I've considered that maybe she's depressed but not sure there's any way to get her to talk to figure out if that's what it is. MIL is only 63 but her mother had dementia late in life.  Am I right to be worried about her?[/quote]

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