Reply to Regrets about marrying interracially?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you married interracially, interculturally or interreligiously, what are some of the serious challenges you have faced? Have you been able to overcome them?

I am about to marry interracially, interculturally, AND interreligiously and don't know anyone else in real life dating interracially, much less marrying someone as different as I am. I am an immigrant, dark skinned Brazilian, raised Catholic and my husband is American, white, and raised Jewish. Apart from me and an AA friend, his family and friends group are exclusively white American Jews.[/quote]

I have a close friend who cancelled her wedding because the gulf was too wide.  It was also interracial, inter culture and inter religious.  In her case, she was a white Lutheran American and he was a Palestinian who grew up in Jordan and Muslim.  She had no role models with whom to compare.  He had been in the US four years.  They met in graduate school.  Both were fairly religious people and I think if one or both was less tied to it and he had spent more time in the US, they could have figured out a way forward.

OTOH, I have another good friend who grew up culturally Christian, but leaned atheist, in the Midwest and met her Moroccan Muslim DH overseas.  They are closer in their world view and their personal religious beliefs incorporate the others and are not exclusive.  They are both fluent In each other's language and that helps too.  That is it to say that there have not been problems along the way, but they seem to be able to effectively navigate them.

There are many couples with a similar background to yours in the area, I suggest reaching out to some of the successful ones to see how they make it work.   Have you discussed how any children will be raised?  Is your DH from the Reform end of the Jewish spectrum?  How strict of a Catholic are you?  Have you talked about familial expectations (eg briss vs baptism) and your immediate family holiday practices?  If both of you are liberal in your religious views and are looking for an umbrella type of denomination, I suggest Unitarian Universalism.  There are many Catholic/Jewish couples in our congregation.[/quote]

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