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[quote=Anonymous]My family is midwestern, emotionally reserved, and loving but somewhat at a distant.  I like it because it's what I'm used to.  My in laws are over the top emotional (to me, I'm sure not to others) and from a culture where family is everything and there are no boundaries and are also extreme extroverts whereas I'm an introvert.  They're kind and generous people, but we're different and I find both their extroversion and their emotional neediness  totally exhausting when we're together.   Every single phone call begins with "it's been soooooo loooong since we've talked....we ,miss you soooo much" even if it's been 2 days.  This has worked ok so far, we live in distant states, but I'm pregnant with their first grandchild (my DH is their only kid) and terrified I will be completely overwhelmed by their emotions.

I'm imagining they'll want daily phone calls on how I'm doing, will shower the baby with crazy gifts, will want to come visit for long periods of time, and may even decide to move here.  My FIL has hinted he will babysit all day (I wouldn't want him to, he's 70!), and they'll expect very frequent dinners together or their feelings will be hurt.   Their eagerness to be close makes me even withdraw more.  Even thinking about telling them I'm pregnant stresses me out with the crying and hugging and praying for an hour and then immediately starting in with opinions and asks (we'll have to vacation together before then! and with the baby! and can you come visit monthly! can we be there for a month after you give birth? etc etc etc...I'm exaggerating a bit but this is what I'm fearing.

So...help?  They're great people, I want to be close with them and welcome them into baby's life.  Right now the more they push, need, and try the more I want to get further away.  They're not going to change so any ideas on how I can stop being so annoyed with it and getting so worked up about their expectations and endless emotions?

And to people who say "wow you're in awful DIL" - shut it.  i have a different personality and culture than them. I'm allowed to find extremely emotional extroverts challenging even if I want to be close to them and they're good people.  I'm trying to find a way to make it work.[/quote]

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