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[quote=Anonymous]I umm ... studied old people. Like, the psychology of why old people do and say the things they do and say. What i learned that pertains to your situation is that as people get older, they get flustered when they're out of their routine. That flustered feeling can show up in different ways - they might be less mannered (the case with my grandfather's girlfriend, who it turned out was a lovely hostess in her own home but a horrible guest in ours), they may be more clumsy and fall or drop things, they may get disoriented (getting lost, forgetting to take pills, making stupid mistakes) and overwhelmed easily, etc.

So it may be self-preservation on your mom's part to say she can't come to you. You look at her and say "You're barely old, and can take Advil if your knee hurts, so get over yourself and come visit," while she's worried she'll have the types of problems described above.

Can you and your daughters go visit once or twice a year? Or, can you send them to visit for a long weekend on their own by train? [/quote]

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