Reply to Vent - protecting my mom's feelings is exhausting

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[quote=Anonymous]Okay.  It seems there are a lot of issues here.

1.  The work on your home.  If you don't like the work, step up.  Tell the contractor it's unacceptable.

2.  Which brings me to the second point -- you sound like a people pleaser.  You sound like you spend a lot of time accommodating peoples' feelings and making sure everyone's happy, and "moving on," at the expense of getting what you want.

3.  I don't think you sound ungrateful.  I think you sound uncomfortable with the notion that you can't make everyone happy, and extremely anxious that you have any negative feelings.  You are very tense because you are going to have to present the work on your home to your mother as a big success.  Why can't you say to your mom "There are some problems with the work and I'm trying to get the contractor to fix them."  It's not your fault, OP.  It's the contractor's fault.

4.  It's not your job to make everyone happy, OP.  Don't pretend you are happy when you are not.  Don't pretend to the contractor, and don't pretend to your mother.  Just because your mother is invested in your loving her gifts doesn't mean that you have to love them.  She is a grown-up.[/quote]

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