Reply to Has counseling actually helped you cope with a toxic parent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes! Huge help for me. I'm sorry you are going through this. Realize though, that your mom is an alcoholic and she's not abandoning your brother. She's choosing her addiction over him, as all addicts do. 
Your brother will be better off with his dad. She's no mother to him. 
Any "help" you offer her will be enabling unless she's in treatment. Unless she's ready to do that, tell her you will have zero communication or financial support with/for her. Stick to it. It's SO hard, but you have to protect yourself.
Please see a therapist and stay strong. [/quote]

I think her desire to take the easy way out and move nearly 600 miles away from him so she can live off me IS abandoning, though. If she signed over full custody but at least stayed in the area so she could visit him, or try to do better so he would want to maintain a relationship with her, I wouldn't consider that abandonment. She literally just wants to hand him over to his dad and then come live in my basement though so she doesn't have to deal with his problems with her drinking or answer to his dad or be responsible for ANYTHING. It's her pattern - scorched earth, then find someone who will scoop her up and take care of her so she doesn't have to deal with the fallout. I understand the nature of addiction and have tried to be understanding of her limitations because of it but I cannot believe she would not only give up custody but intentionally move so far away she would never see him or be there in any meaningful way. He's 11; this would wreck him for life. [/quote]

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