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[quote=Anonymous]Such a long story. My dad ran off when I was 10. I had no contact with him until my teens. He remarried and tried to be a dad in between stints in jail and rehab. Later on he favored the stepkids and pretty much treated us like crap except when he needed something. Recently his wife has had both her feet amputated due to diabetes and can't care for him. He has early stage dementia as well as diabetes, kidney failure and congestive heart failure. Surprisingly he keeps plugging away, living in a dream state while I am solely responsible for his care. 
 Now, before you call me a doormat realize that he was left alone, near death when the police found him and after exhausting all other options, brought him to my home, where he has lived for the past 4 months. I brought him here because although he has been a jerk to me throughout my life, the last few years he has been ok. I didn't want to see him hurt. I am still his daughter. My brothers are smart enough to stay away and I don't burden them with his problems.
  The main issue is what he is doing to my family. My kids are traumatized by his absolutely insane behavior. Yelling, screaming, cussing, plus he has cyclic vomiting disorder and pukes daily. Our only break is dialysis and that's three times a week. He is filthy, has diarrhea all over, removes his undergarments and walks around naked. He also has good days where we talk and laugh and he even helps out.
  Why haven't I moved him into a care center you ask? Well he has no assets, nothing. He has a tiny pension and the clothes on his back. Medicaid is in the process of approving him for level 4 care but the hurdles are never ending, he is too far gone for assisted living, and not needy enough for memory care. He has been turned down from 6 foster homes, and I can't blame them.  He gets $1500 a month from disability and $200 pension. His meds alone are 600$ out of pocket. Co pays are about 300$ ,supplies 200$ and food 200$, plus he needed New dentures and we paid for them. We just can't afford private care. So we wait and hope. 
  My marriage is suffering, my dh has been wonderful but the stress is getting to all of us, I just spent 4 days in the hospital with an infection and my husband took care of my dad, cleaning up his shite and vomit all while being kind to my dad. My drs feel the stress is harming me. WTF do I do? Drop him off at a hospital? I could get charged with elderly abuse. My brothers will.not.help. Step siblings had him trespasses from their property.  My in laws take our four kids out of the house for a break, but no one will touch my dad. I can't even get respite care because of his crazy diabetes. Any suggestions would be helpful. Please don't be mean or smart assy, I know it's fun, but honestly I couldn't take it. There are many smart people on here with a wide variety if life experiences and that is why am am asking for advice here. Thank you kindly.[/quote]

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