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[quote=Anonymous]OP,

I say this with all due kindness, but you need to let this go, "I am getting so frustrated at his inability to convey affection to his only kid and only grandchild..."  He may not express affection for his grandchild in a way you're used to.   In fact, many people have buttoned or brusque personalities without being on the spectrum.  Sometimes it's just cultural.  People with autism aren't potted plants.  Some may have more apathetic personalities, but many may just not communicate in traditional ways.  It doesn't mean they don't have feelings or emotions.

I have to laugh b/c my own aging parents are mired in their own "inability to "change' [that] impacts everyone around [them]".  Neither of them are on the spectrum.  People are who they are.  Aging can make people more entrenched and stubborn the older they get.  And taking care of aging parents can be a priority for many people whether or not their family member is on the spectrum.

To find support for an elderly parent in general, you can contact:
Administration on Aging (AoA): http://www.aoa.gov

Medicare SHIP program for his state:  https://www.medicare.gov/Contacts/

For help for a person on the spectrum, contact his local Arc chapter:  http://www.thearc.org/learn-about/autism

I would also suggest reading Neurotribes or at least listen to the interview:
http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/09/02/436742377/neurotribes-examines-the-history-and-myths-of-the-autism-spectrum

Personally, I really love Rosie King.  You can watch her TED talk:
https://www.ted.com/talks/rosie_king_how_autism_freed_me_to_be_myself?language=en

and her BBC special on autism:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejpWWP1HNGQ

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