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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for that. I am doing a lot of reading on google too.   I see a lot of connections between my DH own self esteem and mental health to being the son of an aspergers parents. Very helpful.  I know its too late for my FIL but as a parent do you feel like you have been able to retrain you mind at all?  It just seems that everything is about the neurotypical folks accomodating the Aspie all the time and that gets to be exhausting.[/quote]

If your FIL had a physical handicap that required accommodation -- like he could only go places with a wheelchair ramp -- would you find it exhausting that you have to do the accommodating and he doesn't just try to get up and walk some of the time?

He has a developmental disability and I'm sure he's trying his best.[/quote]

This.  It's true that there are certain kinds of professional therapy that may be helpful to someone on the spectrum.  But this is not about "retraining your mind."  It would be more like "completely rewiring the circuitry in your brain."  This is a developmental disability that, yes, requires people who are not disabled to make accommodations.  My brother has Asperger's, and it can be so frustrating, but I remind myself that it's more frustrating for him.  Just being in the world requires him to make accommodations constantly.  It's not fair, none of it, but it is what it is.  [/quote]

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