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[quote=Anonymous]First of all, he isn't going to change.  He can learn to perform or avoid specific behaviors, but he's wired the way he's wired, and being frustrated that he's not like your family is a road to unhappiness.  Part of the change is going to have  to be you accepting this and adjusting your expectations so that you can accept what he is able to give.  Read up on autism and Asperger's so that you understand the world you are trying to navigate.

You need to clearly and explicitly express your wants and expectations, even things that you think "everyone" knows.  People like your FIL like rules and routines, and they like a lot of advance notice and clear explanations when there is going to be a change to that routine.  Try to think through all the things that he will need to change--doctors, dentists, accountant, grocery store, furniture, etc., and help him figure out a plan.  Be proactive.  This stuff can cause a lot of anxiety.

Also, making rules and routines for personal interactions--when DD gives you a gift, you tell her how much you love it, and you put it on the fridge/coffee table to display.  Etc.  [/quote]

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