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[quote=Anonymous]Meaning you the parent and not your kid.  I am truly interested in learning about how this affects your parenting, especially if your kids are neurotypical. My Father in law has aspergers and I am trying to help my DH navigate with him some much needed major life changes.  I am trying to be patient but I am getting so frustrated at his inability to convey affection to his only kid and only grandchild, or think at all about how his inability to "change' impacts everyone around him. He truly should not be living alone 3k miles from us, we are working as gently as possible with him to get him to move closer but everything is "I can't do change, maybe in a few more years"--down to "If I move I have to get a new accountant".  When I make suggestions he usually responds "that never occured to me"--basic stuff, like asking him how he will live independently when he can't drive anymore.   My DD made him a card for his birthday, he says "thanks" but then throws it out immediately which confused her. Again, I don't expect him to hold onto it forever but don't throw it out in front of a three year old! Once again, "I never though of it that way"-- to my halloween decorations "I just don't see any practical purpose to decorations" these are just examples frm the last two days.

Let me be clear, I don' think any of this is said or done with malice.  He really is super pleasant. But everything must be the same every day.  He has one obsessive hobby but is probably a national expert on this one hobby.  
  But my DH is shutting down or really searching for validation which is he never going to get from his Dad.   I want to be kind and helpful but I would be lying if I said I wasn't getting super frustrated. I come from a loud, expressive and emotional family. So I want to learn more from parents with aspergers.  How do you show affection? What is your biggest challenge? What do you need others around your to do to help you deal with change?  Have you been aware how you have hurt your kids or grandkids?  
thanks[/quote]

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