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[quote=Anonymous]Riddle me this DCUM.  Our family is white.  DD, who is now late ES, had a "best friend" (Indian girl)  who lived in out neighborhood for several years before she moved.   Although she and DD could meet up on the playground, with the friend's mom watching, DF (dear friend) was never allowed to come over to our house-- not even for DD's birthday party.  In fact, DD so wanted DF at her birthday party (which was at our house), that I extended the invitation to the DF's mother as well, and told her she was welcome to stay for the whole thing.  I always thought the mom was a bit overprotective, because DD had her  other neighborhood friends come over to play without a problem, and DF was prohibited from visiting other homes in the neighborhood too.

Fast forward to this year.  DS, who is in late MS, is on a very competitive academic team, that practices about 15 hours a week outside of school, often at team members' homes.   One of the members of the team is an Indian girl (IG).  The entire team managed to coordinate the timing for several practices at the homes of various team members (once at our home, and the home of another team member).  I made it clear that I would be home while they practiced, and offered to provide  pizza & snacks so they could work through dinner.  It seemed like it  was settled, when IG's mother stepped in and said that IG could only meet with the team via Skype from her home.  For logistical reasons, this doesn't work, and all of the members of the team have to be present for practice.  When the head coach said that all team members must be present in person or they would be dropped, the mother agreed-- but only if the team practices are at IG's house.  Weirdly, neither the mother nor the father can be present-- just the grandmother, who has minimal English (which makes me a little uncomfortable).  Additionally, Also, some of the parents have volunteered and scheduled to act as coaches (DH was supposed to coach one night), but IG's mother has said that  parent coaches "aren't necessary" (they are) and should not attend.

This isn't the only time I have run into this.  Twice last year, once for Science Olympiad for DD (who was in 5th) and once for a group school project for DS (who was in 7th), parents of Indian Girls refused to allow them to come to our house (Science Olympiad) or the house of a team member (the group project), which caused a lot if inconvenience, and made it hard for the kids to do their projects.   For my DD's birthday party last year (a different party) a different IG as not allowed to come (not had a conflict-- not allowed).

My question:  what the he** is going on?  Since I have an 11 year old DD, I understand the need to exercise caution, and I don't casually let he go to stranger's houses.  But we live in a typical, safe upper middle class Fairfax County neighborhood, are involved in our children's schools and never invite other children to come over to our house unless there is a parent home (usually me).  As our DC's get older, they hare having more and more group projects or extracurricular activities that require the kids to meet outside of school-- which seems reasonable to me if I verify that a project exists, take the child to the house, meet the parent, leave them with a phone, etc.   Other parents with kids in the same age range (11-14) seem to feel the same way.  So what's up with the parents of Indian Girls?  This keeps happening-- and not just when it's our home.  Honestly, I'm getting a little pissed off.  So what's the reasonable explanation?[/quote]

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