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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He wants sex the same way each time, and he wants it less frequently than I do.  It's too much work to make me orgasm.  He's gained 40 pounds since we got married.  I do 90% of everything and he "helps" me with the kids, house, finances, etc. instead of being an equal partner. [b]He's a beta, not an alpha.[/b][/quote]

Can you elaborate on that last point?  The rest of it seems to be easily fixed, but the last item indicates that there is more to it.   [/quote]

He's not a leader. He's happy for anyone else to do the planning and the work. He doesn't initiate any kind of physical contact, sexual or otherwise. It's hard to be consistently attracted to a man who doesn't take the initiative and is not high energy and [b]is complacent at work[/b]. His love language is spending time together, but that's not mine. I like a guy who is assertive and has a plan for life.[/quote]

OP here.  I find this interesting and can relate to this.  I've spent most of our marriage working two jobs and up to three jobs at one point so I've always been a hard worker.  I have deliberately avoided the management track at work because I know that DW would not be able to handle the extra hours and travel that would involve but at the same time I see that she resents me for not being more ambitious.  [/quote]

More travel would involve more hours than you working two jobs? And does your DW work, OP?  I am the first PP and I work longer hours than my H, so I know exactly what's involved in putting more effort in at work, hence my being turned off that he won't invest the time or energy. Doesn't seem like your situation. She could just be low drive, and it's not about you specifically.[/quote]

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