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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My bf and I got into a huge fight last night due to our introvert-extrovert differences. I am slightly more extroverted than he is and although I need alone time to recharge after a social activity, I still need more interaction with people. After a long day at work, I want to come home, get a glass of wine and vent/chat with my bf. He is my safe place after a day out in the world.

After a long day of work, my bf gets moody and grumpy and just drained. He gives one word responses, is tired and usually just wants no interaction with me. He'd much rather play a video game or read a book.

I of course don't take this too well. As someone who loves me, I expect him to relish the fact that he gets to see me at the end of the day and he should not want to wait to hang out with me and talk to me and tell me about his day.

Last night, he was grumpy and quiet in the car, so I left him alone and we drove pretty much quietly after work. Once home, I had to get a job application out, so I was on the laptop and he got himself a glass of wine and a book and sat next to me and started reading. He'd rub my feet and read and I'd type away. After I got done, I went and showered and moisturized myself and looked over at him and he was still absorbed in his book.

I feel hurt that even though I was done with my task and I was free now, he still just wanted to read his book. He asked me how I was doing, I said I was okay. I then turn on netflix and get quiet and "pouty". He asks me whats wrong. I say its nothing. He asks again, I tell him that I felt hurt that he wanted to read his book instead of spend time with me since I was not going to be there tomorrow and the day after.

He flipped out! And started going off a rant about how it is SOOOO unfair that I am begrudging him a book! I said I don't care if he reads his book and that I'm hurt he is doing it now when he could do it tomorrow or the day after when I'm not around. We go back and forth. He starts accusing me of not giving him any space to do anything except hang out with me and do stuff I want. I'm hurt I even  have to ask him to spend time with me. He was yelling and saying all sorts of unflattering things about how I am so unfair and so mean!

I then tried to sleep on the couch and cried until 2am. After which he came to get me and I finally went  to bed.

We were still arguing about it this morning. I am exhausted and can't focus on work. I feel like I have been through a war being attacked and criticized all night.
 :cry:

[/quote]

OP here. He also went on a rant about how I don't appreciate him and all he does for me and if I did I would not begrudge him a book and some alone time to relax after a long day.

This is so stupid because I tell him I love him and appreciate him all the time! :shock: [/quote]

You sound passive aggressive and an equal party in this equation.  Not saying either of you is "right" or "wrong", but I definitely didn't read this scenario and say "What an a-hole BF."

First, I think you guys need to calibrate your expectations.  While I think it's perfectly reasonable that you want to spend time with each other after work, you characterization of wanting him to "relish in the fact he gets to see you..." and he should "not wait to hang out with me and tell me about his day" is really telling.  You already know he's an introvert who gets drained after a long day of work--why do you assume he would want to talk about his day at work (the very thing that makes him grumpy)?

What stuck out to me is that while you were doing your application, your BF rubbed your feet and sat next to you.  While this may not have registered on your radar as "hanging out", this may have been meaningful contact to him.

Your passive-aggressiveness also shines through after your shower...instead of saying "Honey, how about we chat for a little bit", you looked over at him reading his book, made a judgment that he doesn't want to hang out with you "now that you're done with your task, and decide to get pouty.  From there, you are just playing childish games.

You don't necessarily sound like a bad person, but this post reads very passive-aggressive and self-absorbed.  Frankly, you guys just don't sound compatible and you know his personality, but are still getting offended by the things you come to expect.[/quote]

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