Reply to MIL has decided to cut us out because we won't take sides in her feud with BIL

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[quote=Anonymous]Here's the background (and I apologize in advance if it's long and/or confusing). The players include MIL, DH, and DH's siblings (BIL1, BIL2, SIL).

About four months ago BIL1 and BIL2 had a pretty serious fight caused by BIL2's irresponsibility, which caused him to almost ruin BIL1's wedding. BIL1 understandably got angry with BIL2, but then MIL jumped in and took BIL2's side. BIL1 then became angry at MIL for taking his brother's side, and they have been fighting over text messages for the past couple of months. Now BIL1 is pretty thoroughly estranged from MIL and BIL2.

DH and his sister (SIL) have wisely tried to stay out of the fight. They have told everyone that they do not want to be involved, and have encouraged MIL and the BILs to try to make up with one another. DH and I, along with SIL, have continued to socialize with MIL and both BILs, albeit separately. However, I guess things have recently taken a turn for the even worse among MIL and BIL1. Now MIL is demanding that we cut off BIL1 and his family. She says that by continuing to see BIL1, we are "supporting" him and "taking his side." Apparently the straw that broke the camel's back is that DH, SIL, and I are going out to dinner with BIL1 and his wife to celebrate their newly announced pregnancy. In MIL's eyes, that makes us traitors.

DH and SIL have stood their ground, and have tried to tell their mother that she is being short sighted. It's going to make a future reconciliation between BIL1 and MIL that much harder if we are all estranged from him.

MIL has now decided that she needs to take a break from her relationships with both us and SIL (those were her own words). She keeps sending me texts about how much she misses our kids, but she refuses to come see us, or let us visit her

This is such a strange situation for us. MIL has always been an excellent mother-in-law, and she absolutely adores her grandkids. I'm not sure if the woman has lost her damn mind, or been replaced by an alien pod person. I don't see any other explanation for why she has chosen to become estranged from 3 of her 4 children.

I'm not sure if this is a vent, or I'm looking for words of wisdom. Any thoughts are appreciated. This is such a new and baffling situation for me (my parents, siblings, and I don't play games like this, so this is my first time experiencing estrangement and the fallout).

[b]tl;dr  My usually sane MIL is feuding with my BIL, and has recently decided to become estranged from us because we refuse to choose sides and cut off BIL. [/b][/quote]

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