Reply to Help me hide

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Help me hide"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugg - I feel you. Visiting DHs family reunions is like walking into an episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey...

Step 1:  DH knows you are an introvert.  Ask to set firm guidelines on time. Say event is 12-5 (or whenever).  You will be there from 1:30-4.

Step 2: ask for something to do if possible - "oh, cousin Jane I'd be happy to do the dishes for you....catalogue gifts...take coats...etc.". It affords you something other than making chit chat, it's a nice distraction and gives you some alone time.

Step 3: take a break. Tell DH in advance that you may need a break. Keep it to 20-30 min in the middle of the party. Excuses: allergies, picking up Ice or groceries or "important phone call" - walk around the block or hop in the car

Also useful: find they kiddie table..take them for a walk, play catch, etc. Ask little Timmy to show you his crayon scribbles.  Parents love when their kids are entertained. The 4-8 set also are always willing to show adults the cool stuff they can do.

Step 4: prepared list of conversation topics. Now is a good time to brush up on current events, sports, Pop culture etc. you hit an uncomfortable moment "hey, did you catch Scandal last week? That Olivia Pope..wow, what a show" (I've never watched scandal...).  Let them talk... Also prep answers to dreaded questions: work, family, etc.

Step 5: be the best listener...ever.  Old business  networking tip: People love to talk about themselves...have a few easy open ended questions ready to go then just listen.  "That's fascinating." "Tell me more" "(repeat phrase)?" "What do you think?" "That must be exciting/difficult?" "How do you do that?"  Maintain eye contact, smile, nod, repeat phrases...and zone out.

Step 6: learn how to identify "safe" people. DHs third cousins new girlfriend -- she doesn't know anyone and will be thrilled to chat with you. Have her as your partner and bring her around "this is cousin Sally. She lives in Florida" attention is now off you....  I've also found just hanging out near the biggest loud mouth works too. They are so into hearing the marbles speak that they are happy to have a (quiet...zoned out) audience...

Best of luck[/quote]

Great list.  A few to add:

- Take a glass of wine or a cup of tea (or your drink of choice) and head out to the deck or patio.  If anyone asks, you need a breath of fresh air, are hot, are cold, or need a quick break from the noise.  Slowly sip your glass/cup and when you're finished and have had a chance to regain your equilibrium, head on back.

- If there are unused public rooms, give yourself a quick tour.  For example, there is a small formal living room, but the party is in the family room; stop and admire the decorations in the living room.  If the host stops by compliment it "Oh, I love your painting here and was just admiring it."  "What a lovely flower arrangement.  Where did you get it?"  You can admire the family photos in the hallway or the chandelier in the foyer.

- For step 5 above, you can also encourage them to talk by admiring something about them.  "Wow, that's a lovely outfit.  Where did you get it?"  "The dish you brought was fantastic.  Do you do a lot of cooking?"  This will usually open them up to talk about themselves or one of their interests/passions.  You can still zone out.  You just have to keep enough attention to know when you have to respond or prompt them again.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics