Reply to Why DON'T you set boundaries?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I started setting boundaries with my BPD divorced parents and it turned into a godawful.mess. they fell apart when they couldn't have every inch of their own way, got super verbally abusive, wrote angry nasty letters when they could no longer hurl the verbal abuse at me (bc i stopped calling) and then tried to shut me out of my extended family.

Meanwhile I got married, and have a gorgeous family of my own and am happy.my kids have not spent much time with my parents and sadly none with my extended family, as we did get shut out by the gossiping and manipulation. That was extremely painful at the time but after growing to accept it, I am glad to have that evil at bay and out of my day to day life.

It wasn't what I expected but it has worked out just fine.

I am hoping to have a mildly more functional relationship as my children get older, but it will come with serious boundaries as well, and there will not be recourse for my parents now that they've broken my larger family relationships. 
I

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PP here, but this was why I never set boundaries before. Fear of what they would do. They did it. I survived. And now I can have more strength and resolve in the future. [/quote]

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