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[quote=Anonymous]I used to be like you because I came out of a very controlling relationship where my boyfriend told me what to do, say, think, wear, etc. I did not realize that's what was happening for an embarrassingly long time.

When I started dating a new guy (now my husband) I'd constantly ask him "What do you think?" or "How do I handle that?" or "What do I say to my teacher?" and the first few times he told me and then (because he's brilliant) realized there was a pattern and started saying things like "How do YOU think you should handle it?" or "Well, if I were your professor what would you say to explain the situation? Practice on me!" and I got really mad at him for "not helping."  But really he was - he refused to let me put him in that role of dictator.

I screwed up some things and made some bad decisions. But I learned to own my shit. Your husband needs to let you make what he thinks are bad decisions. Maybe he'll be wrong and they'll turn out great and he'll have to learn not to pout, or maybe you'll screw things up and he'll have to learn not to gloat. But mostly he needs to step back and you need to keep pushing more self esteem on yourself, you know? [/quote]

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